So, my no pointless television watching and early mornings was short lived. I’ll be honest, I didn’t get up before 8am most of the week. I could come up with a myriad of excuses but let’s be honest, no-one really cares eh?
I am full of so many emotions, happiness, love, anger, frustration, loneliness, rejection, worry, stress, euphoria, content.. the list goes on.
It’s difficult not being in our own place, in our own space that we have created the way we like it. I wouldn’t call it nesting, I think I would be feeling this way even if I didn’t have this soul growing inside of me. I just want to listen to the music I want, eat what I want and when I want, you know, just create my space, my home. Even living out of the back of our car, sleeping on the side of the road or in caravan parks in our swag felt more home than this. Living with other people, in their space is difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful to be given a roof over my head and food in my belly, but I am ready for my own space. My home.
As I type this, R is out providing for our family. I don’t know how to tell him how grateful I am for everything he is/has done for us. I am so proud of him and I love him more and more each day. Even after (almost) 9 years, I still find myself falling in love with that man. Granted this may be the lovey dovey hormones talkin’. I love that man so much. He is going to be an amazing father and I can’t wait to bring this little one Earthside for them to meet. My heart will swell with love and happiness. I am so excited.
University starts on Monday. I passed my last subject so that’s a plus, but I can feel life about to get pretty hectic over the next few months with university, work, moving house, and our little soul’s debut. It’s going to be one crazy ride. I guess this is only the beginning. I’m scared, but pretty darn excited. Plus the distraction (uni) is very welcomed.
Although I feel somewhat creatively or personally trapped in this environment, I still try to find the time and space to do some of the things I love. I spent most of the day meditating and talking to my womb dweller. Granted it was in bursts and not without disruption or distraction, it was something nonetheless. It feels good to get back into things that I love to do. Again, my own space will make this much more achievable. Less than 2 months and we will be in our own place.
24 weeks and the little one has grown very strong. They have decided that bedtime is the best time to practice flips and tricks. I don’t mind though. There is something so comforting about the little life inside of you wriggling around.
This has been somewhat of a mind dump. Bit scattered. A reflection of how I feel at the moment.
Keep it real,