ElizaThinksAllowed

Sometimes it all gets too much

Damaged - Flickr under CC licence.I woke up in a horrid mood today. Everything felt heavy. Like concrete chained to my feet, pulling me down. I was suffocating, gasping for air. Snapping at the people I love because they weren’t helping me. They couldn’t. How could they if I couldn’t even pin point what was bringing me down? How could they if I wasn’t reaching out for them?

I have a little self reflection process at the end of the day. It’s part of my winding down routine. I reflect on the day I’ve had and figure out what I could have done differently and pat myself on the back for the things I did awesomely. I try to learn from my mistakes and tomorrow I start with a clean slate. A chance to do better. During this process tonight I could not figure out what it was that put me in such a down, frustrated, emotionally exhausted, ready to give up type mood. Then something clicked. Sometimes things I have no control over effect me in ways I don’t understand.

There are some pretty scary things happening in the world daily. Today the news of MH17. All those people lost; all the families effected. It was the tip of the iceberg for me.

I’m suffocating.

I can’t help it. It hurts. It makes me sad. There are massive amounts of people being killed everyday, all over the world. I see it on my news feed almost constantly. Update, after update. Numbers rising. There’s only so much bad news I can take. Some would say turn a blind eye, but that makes me feel guilty. Ignorance is not an option.

My heart is heavy.

The only way I can deal is to Love. The only way I can cope is to send good vibes out into the world and hope they reach the people who need them the most. I don’t know what else to do. I want to make more of an impact, but love is all I got; for now.

Sometimes it all gets too much.

This entry was published on July 19, 2014 at 1:03 AM. It’s filed under Anxiety, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “Sometimes it all gets too much

  1. I know, and you didn’t even mention all the stuff going on in the Middle east. The ‘news’ is always bad – they don’t make much money on telling you about all of the good things happening on the planet. Maybe it should be our jobs to find the good things that happen – the people helping each other, the lives saved, the conflicts resolved, people encouraged by a word, skills taught – even if they are just small things that happen in our towns or lives.

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    • There’s too much to mention. I just felt the weight of it all today and broke.
      I think it is up to us to spread the good. You’ve inspired me. We get so bombarded with bad news sometimes we overlook the small things that are good. Thankyou.

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  2. Roger on said:

    I read about a woman that was not happy with her direction in life, one of the things she changed was NO NEWS. No TV news, no reading the paper, she would even avoid discussion on events in the news. She stated that this had a tremendous effect on her mental health, massive increase in positive mental energy, which helped her to make the bigger harder changes in other areas of her life.
    Why do I need to hear about crime, violence, car crashes that happen in other parts of Australia? I don’t even want to hear about it in my own town….. the news paints the world as a dark and violent place, there are plenty of people out there that argue that it is all used to control the masses…..but that’s a different blog post.
    I read that 1 in 3 Australian women will be sexually assaulted in their life time…. I have 1 wife 2 daughters….that kind a stuff could make a husband/father go crazy.
    It’s hard but we all need to find the good in the world and expose it share it and show the magic moments that happen everyday in this huge world we are on.
    Peace and love to ya sis.

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